Girlfriend Staying As Family's Guest Deserves More Respect
DEAR ABBY: Last August my husband and I allowed our son's 17-year-old girlfriend, "Lindsay," to move into our home from out of state because she needs to live here for a year to establish residency for school. She's a wonderful girl, mature, social and helpful.
My problem is my other sons (ages 18 and 14) are very angry that we have allowed a "stranger" to move in. My 18-year-old is a college student who lives on campus an hour away, but comes home on weekends. He and his younger brother feel I show favoritism to Lindsay and make frequent comments about the non-family member. They worry that I'm spending money on her even though they know her mom sends her money.
I'll admit it has been nice to have a girl around. My boys sleep half the day away on weekends, but she gets up and is happy to run errands with me. I still include my sons in many activities without Lindsay, as I always have, and I did not anticipate this hostility. I feel bad for her because they make little attempt to hide it. My son loves his girlfriend, and I want her to feel comfortable and welcome without alienating my other sons. Help! -- MOM OF THREE SONS
DEAR MOM: You and your husband are the parents, which means you are supposed to be running this "asylum" -- not the inmates. The decision about who should or should not be a guest in your home is not up to your jealous older and younger boys, who appear to be suffering from a form of "sibling" rivalry.
As a guest in your home, Lindsay should be treated with respect, and it's not ha
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